


All I Ask Of You

by vagrantBreath



Series: Shattered [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:51:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Something had happened to Lance in flight school. Something bad.And now he's telling the story to Shiro.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo boy. So let's get this started. At least we already know how Lance's story will end.

It wasn’t fair. Keith went out on some big adventure to find himself and came back with a space dog. Lance found himself pouting at the thought as he watched Laz lay on her side, Keith digging his fingers into her leg muscles. _Lance_ wanted a space dog. Laz looked cool.

But more than that... Lance’s gaze softened as he saw Keith laugh a little at something Laz said. The two of them took care of each other. Laz’s nightmares were more infrequent than Keith’s, but louder. She barked. But in the end... Lance had caught the two of them walking after a nightmare, quiet, Laz nearly tripping Keith with each step while Keith constantly stroked her head. They helped each other.

One of Lance’s hands brushed across his forearm. Heh. Good thing at least one of them had someone to help them.

”Lance.” He jumped at Shiro’s voice, looking over at him. “Good job today at training.”

His heart soared. It wasn’t often he heard that from Shiro. “Thanks!”

Shiro smiled back at him, then looked over at Keith and Laz. The two of them watched Laz sit up and stretch, and for both her and Keith to leave. “I’m glad Keith has someone that can act as so much emotional support,” Shiro said quietly. “I was afraid he wouldn’t find someone who’d be able to do that for him.”

”I didn’t expect him to return.” Lance rubbed his face as Shiro looked at him in surprise. “I know, it’s stupid. But... we weren’t exactly the best support group for him and he had just been heavily abused, raped, lost what he basically considered a second mother, and had basically said he wasn’t the Red Paladin. I mean, if it hadn’t been for Hunk for me, I wouldn’t-” Lance shut his mouth, looking away.

”Lance... I know it must be hard for you. You don’t need to talk about your own abuse.”

”Yeah. I know.” He looked back at where Keith and Laz had gone. “But... you know, Keith got over his own trauma to be a Paladin again. And his was way worse than mine. I mean, I-”

”Don’t compare yourself to him,” Shiro chided him. “Your abuse was different.”

”I guess... kind of. But... I mean, I still can’t-”

”Lance.” He looked up at Shiro. “It’s okay.”

Keith had come back and faced an angry Allura head on. Lance... what had Lance done after? Barely managed to come back to school?

Couldn’t even tell the man he loved that yeah, he had a huge crush on him? He knew everyone knew. He also knew only Hunk knew why he was denying it. Hunk, who had gotten suspicious and barged in back then. Hunk, who had held him after the nurse was done with him. Hunk, who had always been there.

Lance closed his eyes.

”Yeah, but what if I want to talk about it?”

When Lance opened his eyes, he didn’t look at Shiro.

After a moment, Shiro came over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “If you feel ready, I would listen.”

Lance tilted his head towards Shiro, smiling sadly. “Yeah, you say that now. Let’s see how long that lasts.”

”Hey now. I’d always listen to you.”

The fact he personalized, said he’d listen to Lance... “Yeah. We should... get comfortable. I’m probably going to cry or something and I’d rather not be standing around while I make an ass of myself.”

He felt Shiro remove his hand. “Okay. Where do you want to sit down?”

”Anywhere soft that’s not often used.”

”I would say my bedroom, but that’s not exactly what we’re going for here.”

Lance hesitated, looking over at Shiro. “You’re still not sleeping?”

”The people on this ship that are having more nightmares than sleep are rising more than I’d like,” Shiro told him, looking directly at him. Referring directly to him.

Lance looked away.

”Don’t feel forced to tell me, Lance.”

”Yeah,” he whispered. “But- I just feel like such a baby next to Keith. I can’t even get over it to- you know what, I have something important to tell you after it. So I have to tell you now.”

Shiro opened his mouth, then shut it. Then he shook his head. “Fine. There should be a rec room around here. At this time, everyone should be doing something else.”

Still a little open, but better than going back to Shiro’s room. “Cool. Let me go find some tissues.”

And what was sad was he wasn’t kidding when he meant that.

* * *

”Okay, where do I start?” Lance pulled his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles and grasping his ankles. “So, uh. It’s um... pretty obvious I’m bisexual, right? And that I’m talking about my last boyfriend, right?” At Shiro’s nod, he sighed. “Yeah, of course that’s obvious, what am I talking about? Okay.” Lance took a deep breath. “So.”

Shiro just sat there. Waiting.

”It... was my first year of flight school. I felt like I was a big hotshot, getting in-” He shook his head. “That lasted about a day until I realized I was just... another face in the crowd. Not that special. The girls weren’t looking at me like they did back home. I wasn’t... special there.” Lance closed his eyes. “But... I guess my dorky and totally uncool behavior got the attention of someone.”

Lance opened his eyes, looking up at Shiro.

”His name was Jonas.”

Lance waited for Shiro’s reaction. When there wasn’t one, he sighed. “Yeah. He wasn’t- I guess no one passed around his name after he got suspended for nearly killing me.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t even think anyone other than Hunk knew he tried to kill me. I mean, other than now.”

With a sigh, Lance sat back on the couch, looking up. He could almost see the moment Jonas came up to him...

  


* * *

  


”Hey.”

Lance looked up at the voice, a fork sticking out of his mouth, mouth filled with mashed potato. He swallowed quickly at the holy shit look at those muscles. And that short black hair on top of pale skin. And eyes so dark _blue_ they almost looked black until he tilted his head and the light caught them just right oh wow. Lance looked away quickly, hoping he hadn’t been caught staring. He didn’t know how well gay people were taken here, even if he was like... half gay. “Hey,” he managed. “You can take the chair, no one’s sitting there.”

He nearly died when the guy sat down next to him instead. “You’re in my maths class, aren’t you?”

”Y-yeah,” Lance managed.

”Do you get anything that Ms. Peony’s talking about?”

”Oh yeah, totally.” He had no idea.

The guy’s eyes lit up and oh no he was even more handsome that way. “Great! Can you tutor me? I’m completely lost.”

”I-”

The guy just sat there, eagerly awaiting an answer.

”I mean, I-”

”Not for free, I mean. I can pay you for your service.”

Lance just shook his head, blushing. “That’s not-”

”You have no idea what that batty old lady’s going on about either, do you?”

”Not at all.”

The guy paused for a moment, then let out a deep rolling laugh that just made Lance’s chest pound. He needed to get out of there now. Mumbling... something totally uncool, Lance started to get up, grabbing his tray.

”Hey. I wasn’t making fun. Name’s Jonas. Yours?”

”Oh. Um. Lance.”

Damn it, Jonas had a nice smile. “Nice meeting you, Lance. See you in class?”

”Uh, yeah! Sure!”

When Jonas got up and left, Lance sat back down, groaning. He had totally blown that. He had totally come off at gay as fuck and now-

Well, at least Jonas wouldn’t want anything to do with him now, and he could be a bisexual mess in peace. Lance sighed, looking up at the ceiling. At least he hadn’t started babbling in Spanish. That would have just been completely uncool.

And he had math today too. Or ‘maths’ as Jonas put it.

He was going to be a bisexual mess all day, wasn’t he?


	2. Chapter 2

Lance paused, looking over at Shiro. He didn’t realize it before, but Jonas... had a lot of Shiro’s looks. Black hair. Pale skin. Dark eyes. Muscles. Was Shiro going to notice? That he had been a mess around someone that had looked a lot like him? But if he did, Shiro graciously didn’t show it, and Lance relaxed a little.

”Jonas didn’t really... like, he talked to me, but we didn’t really...” Lance sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I think he was dealing with being a gay mess too. Like, we both were dealing with the idea that the other might not deal with our sexuality well. I don’t know if Jonas was like... full gay or bisexual like me.” Lance looked down at his crossed ankles. “So it took a long time for either of us to really realize the other was kind of... really attracted to the other. I think he noticed first.”

He sighed, leaning over his crossed legs. “I should have noticed things were off even before we dated. Like... he would get really upset if I told him that hey, Hunk and I have plans. I would promise to spend time with him after, and he’d just... nod. He... I really wanted to impress him. He was hot and I really wanted him to like me, so I would keep trying to make him happy. Like, if he was pissed, tell him jokes, stuff like that.” Lance closed his eyes.

Shiro didn’t say anything. Just let him decide if he wanted to keep talking or not. Lance took a deep breath, nodding.

”He finally asked me out one day. Like, he had to make it obvious it was a date because I still didn’t think he liked me like that. But it was... great. And then we dated. I kind of... was afraid to tell Hunk, but you know Hunk. He realized it before I could tell him and kind of got on me for not properly introducing him to Jonas.” Lance opened his eyes, looking at the couch. “I don’t know if he would have stopped me from getting involved if he had known. If he... if he would have seen it earlier than he did.”

”Jonas sounded like a good actor.”

”Thing is, I don’t think he was acting. I think he really was an awkward guy that... didn’t know how to deal with relationships and just... got a little too possessive to the point of abuse.” Lance sighed. “I don’t know. Hunk would get on me for trying to defend him just now, but I really don’t think he was acting when he said he loved me. I think he was just... not dealing with it well.”

”Lance-”

”I know. It doesn’t excuse what he did.” He laughed a little. “I guess I just want to rationalize why someone would do that to me. And try to remember what everyone’s said about it not being my fault.”

Shiro didn’t say anything.

Lance rubbed his face, feeling tired. “I do feel like... I mean, if I had paid attention, I wouldn’t have agreed to go out with him. I wouldn’t have... I wouldn’t have been friends with him. So in a way it is my fault.”

”Don’t think that way, Lance. It isn’t your fault.”

He closed his eyes, holding his ankles even tighter. “Easy for you to say.”

Shiro didn’t say anything.

After a bit, Lance sighed. “I guess because he wasn’t immediately possessive boyfriend no one saw anything weird. I should have seen it when we first had sex, though. We... you know, I had sex before I went to flight school. A cute girl in my class and I hooked up. I thought I was hot shit, and I knew how to do this. And then Jonas’s pants came off and I just... realized I didn’t.”

Jonas’s words came back to him...

  


* * *

  


Lance bit his lower lip. Holy hell. Jonas wasn’t anywhere as big as the guys in porn, but even average was a fucking respectable girth to go up anyone’s ass. Especially for a first time. He had fingered himself before, but... that was huge in comparison.

Maybe he couldn’t do this. Maybe they needed to start slow, like with some handjobs or blowjobs or... like rubbing off on each other. Something other than sticking that inside Lance.

”Are you laughing at me?” Jonas’s voice was low, warm with anger.

”H-huh? No way!”

”Do you want something bigger, is that it? Am I too small for you?”

Lance shook his head. “No, no!”

Jonas’s face smoothed a bit, and he stroked Lance’s hair. “Shh, I didn’t mean to scare you there. Of course you’re not laughing at me. You were hungry, weren’t you, love? Hungry for more than just this.”

”Huh?”

He kissed Lance. “Shh, love. Let me take care of you. You love me, right?”

”Yeah!” Lance nodded. “Of course!”

”Then let me take care of you. Lay on your stomach.”

They really were doing this. Lance swallowed, laying down. He heard Jonas getting something, and a bottle uncapping. Lube. Thank God. It was cold on his fingers, and he jumped a little. Jonas made soothing noises as he pressed a finger in, heedless of the noise Lance made. It was uncomfortable. But after a while... yeah, it felt kind of good. Jonas pulled his finger out and he heard more lube being added to his fingers, and yeah that was a second finger added. Lance hissed a little, and Jonas just kissed his shoulder. “You’re doing so well,” he murmured. “Just a little more.”

After a while, it felt good too. Okay. He could do this. Even when Jonas added another finger, he could do this. It would feel good. Then Jonas pulled his fingers out, and he could hear the lube bottle clacking open again. “This will loosen you up first before the main event,” he whispered in Lance’s ear before moving behind him.

Then he felt the head of Jonas’s dick against him. “Hey, whoa, condom?”

Jonas paused. “Are you insinuating I would cheat on you? Or have you cheated on me? Are you a filthy slut, my love?”

Maybe that might be hot for some, but it just caused fear in him. “No, just... you know, condoms are good. Safe sex is good.”

He felt Jonas stroke his hair and he hoped that was his clean hand. “Oh, love. It’s okay. I promise you. You’ll love it more without the condom.”

But- Lance closed his eyes. What the hell. Yeah. They had to undergo STD testing anyway in flight school. If Jonas had something it would have been known by now. They would have talked about it. “Okay.”

When Jonas finally slid in, he had to breath through his nose. It would be okay. It’d stop hurting. It’d feel good soon. Lance waited for Jonas’s thrusts to feel good, and slowly, they did. Slowly, he started to roll his hips back into the thrusts, groaning. It still burned, still hurt, but it kind of felt good too. He could deal with that.

And then Jonas was coming in his ass and that felt so weird. And Lance was still hard. Jonas pulled out, making a pleased noise as he held his ass open, running his fingers through the come spilling out. “You’re about ready for the next one,” he told Lance, making Lance’s eyes go wide.

”Hey, whoa, what?”

”Shh, you told me you love me, right?”

”Y-yeah?”

”You’d do this for me if you love me.”

Lance closed his eyes. He really did love Jonas. “Okay.”

He heard Jonas searching for something, a plastic bag opening, the lube bottle cracking open again... then something even bigger pressed against him. Something... inorganic. Lance opened his eyes wide, turning his head as Jonas pressed it into him. “W-what the-”

”Shh.” Jonas kissed his forehead. “It’s only a dildo. Don’t you worry.” He pressed it in further, making Lance cry out. It was a lot bigger than Jonas. Oh fuck it hurt. “You’re doing well, my love. Just a little more.” How much more was there?! “Shh.”

When he finally felt the rubbery balls against his, he gasped. It was in. Slowly, Jonas pulled it out, then thrust it in. Lance clenched his eyes tight as he did it, panting. It hurt. It-

Then Jonas angled it just right and it didn’t hurt fuck- it-

And he came, crying out.

Jonas leaned down, kissing his forehead again. “Very good.”

Lance smiled a little, tilting his head so he could rest and still see Jonas. “Yeah?”

”Yes.” Then he hesitated, still not pulling the dildo out. “You do love me, right?”

”Yeah. I love you. Of course.”

Jonas smiled, kissing him. “That’s all I ask of you.”


	3. Chapter 3

At some point Lance had let his legs hang off the side of the couch, and his hands were balled into fists on top of his thighs. His teeth were clenched together in a vain attempt to stop crying. Jonas’s actions, his words, the fact he wasn’t sure if Jonas had truly loved him then or was using him... Lance raised a hand, wiping at his tears. He looked over as Shiro silently held up the tissue box, and he took one, blowing his nose. “It’s not like I can’t look back on it now and realize what that was,” Lance told Shiro quietly, balling the tissue up. “He forced me to do something I really didn’t want to do. I realize-” He closed his eyes. “I thought because I eventually let it happen that it was okay even though I didn’t want it. Heh.”

”Lance, it’s not your fault.”

”Yeah. I know that. I’m not...” He sighed. “I’m not blaming myself for the fact he made me think it was consensual. Not anymore.” Lance took a deep breath, opening his eyes. “It kind of set the scene for everything, though. Mostly sex at first. I think he got off on seeing me have to come on something much bigger than him. I don’t... think it was because he wanted to see me in pain? Because he would take a lot of care stretching me. Or if it was he wanted to make sure it wasn’t a lot of it, that I still came from it. Whatever it was, the dildos just got bigger and bigger. And I just... let it happen. Because I loved him, you know? And because if I said no, he got angry and threw that back in my face.”

It hurt to say. It really hurt to say.

”He didn’t start hitting me until I told him I hadn’t seen Hunk in a really long time and I wanted to hang out with him. I can’t even really... defend that. I really can’t now. But I was so in love that even when he was grabbing me and shoving me against the wall, telling me that I told him I loved him so that meant I stayed there, I believed him.” Lance sighed.

When he looked up, he saw sympathy. Support. Not a trace of disgust.

”You always hear about abused women and you’re just ‘hey why don’t you leave him’ but when you’re the abused one...” Lance shook his head, looking down at his hands. “It’s hard to even recognize it.”

He heard Shiro shifting next to him.

Lance pulled his legs up, crossing them again. “Yeah. So. I was pretty messed up for a while. But I loved him which made it okay in my eyes. And then whenever I could see Hunk... he just tried to tell me something was wrong, which I ignored.” Lance closed his eyes, hearing Jonas’s voice. Hearing him say ‘it’s okay, my love. They’re just jealous of us.’

His hands tightened.

”I was so desperate to have someone love me back that I would do anything for him. I didn’t care. And when Hunk finally tried to talk to me-”

  


* * *

  


”Hey man.”

Lance looked up from his math book, blinking at Hunk. Jonas had kept him up late the night before. But they really needed to get that done... “Hey. Look, I’m failing math and I really need to study-”

”Can we talk for a moment? I’ll buy you lunch.”

Was it lunch time? Or wasn’t it dinner time? God, he had his times all mixed up. “Yeah, sure. I guess.” Lance yawned as put away his books and followed Hunk. Normally he would have studied in his room, but Jonas would be there and he really needed to focus. But he would need to get back to his room after lunch, if it was lunch time. He did tell him he’d be back in time for their class together.

He didn’t even pay attention to what Hunk was getting him. Or even what he was putting into his mouth after they sat down. He hadn’t realized how _hungry_ he had been, geez. “So what’d you want to talk about?”

”Just...” Hunk furrowed his brow. “Lance, man, you look really thin. And pale. And I’ve barely seen you lately. Is everything okay?”

Lance shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, been busy with Jonas but that’s it.”

Hunk frowned. “About Jonas... I mean, he seems great, but you’ve been really weird since dating him. Really quiet.”

”Huh?” That made no sense. Lance was just like he had always been.

”And I mean... this is the first time I’ve seen you in like... weeks. We used to hang out constantly, dude. I’ve heard once someone gets a boyfriend they spend less time with their friends but... I didn’t think this less time. It’s like he’s forcing you to not spend time with me.”

”He’s really not,” Lance muttered, shifting in his seat. “I just... need to spend time with him.”

”Is something wrong with him?” Hunk gasped. “Is he sick?”

”No, just... he’s my boyfriend.” Lance looked away. “I have to spend time with him. I love him.”

”Even at the expense of your friends?”

That stung. “You don’t get it. You’ve never had a girlfriend.”

”Hey.”

That was cruel of him to say, but it was true. Hunk had never had a girlfriend. “You don’t understand what it’s like to have someone you love need you, Hunk. You don’t understand what it’s like to have someone...” Lance trailed off, looking at his food.

”I know what it’s like to have someone I love go away,” he heard Hunk say kindly.

Lance shook his head. “Loving me like a friend isn’t the same as having a lover. You’re just jealous I have someone like this.”

”I’m really not. I wouldn’t want a girlfriend that’d leave bruises on me.”

Lance froze. “He- he’s not- It’s not him.”

”Why are you covering for him, Lance? I mean... you know your boyfriend isn’t supposed to hurt you. Why are you letting him?”

”I’m not letting him,” Lance muttered.

”But he is hurting you,” Hunk pointed out.

Lance didn’t answer.

”Is he doing other things? Is he making you do things you don’t want to do?”

”Shut up!” Lance spat at him. “You don’t understand what you do for someone you love. So what? So what if I just let him fuck me? I love him.”

”Do you want to? I mean, when you have um. Sex. Do you want to do it? Because if you don’t, that... you know. Rape.”

The last word hit Lance hard and he stood suddenly. “Fuck off,” he hissed, and left. He’d go back to his room. Rape. Like Jonas would rape him. He loved him... right? He... he did all that because they were in love and...

And...

And it was okay... right?

Because he... he said okay because he loved him? It didn’t matter what he wanted because he loved him?

It... it didn’t matter if he hurt him because he... he wasn’t supposed to leave him because he... he loved him?

Why had he even listened to Hunk? Now he was thinking about this.

Jonas looked up as Lance entered the room. “My love,” he said warmly, smiling. “Come here.”

Yeah. Look at that. Jonas loved him. Lance smiled back at him, going over to him and giving him a kiss.

But when Jonas pressed him to the bed, pulling his clothes off, Lance couldn’t stop Hunk’s words coming back to him as he felt Jonas pressing into him. Couldn’t stop remember what he said as Jonas guided him onto his back, pulling out his latest toy.

”Hey, can we not do this today? I’m kind of not in the mood,” Lance said. He really wasn’t. He just wanted to be jerked off and clean the come out of his ass.

Jonas’s face took on a stormy look. “My love. You told me you loved me.”

”Well yeah, but-”

”You said you loved me. Are you taking it back now?”

”No! No, of course not!”

”Then you’ll let me do this.”

Hunk’s words came back to him as he turned his face away from Jonas. He wasn’t-

”Well?” Jonas’s voice was heated, angry.

”Go ahead,” Lance whispered.

It hurt. Like it always did.

Why did he... let Jonas hurt him? No, he... he loved...

Lance closed his eyes. He didn’t know why.


	4. Chapter 4

”Lance...”

He inhaled sharply, taking a tissue and wiping his eyes. “It-” Lance cleared his throat. “It’s not like overnight I realized he was abusing me. Like oh yeah, Hunk’s right. But little by little I kind of... asked myself if he really needed to hurt me. If I really needed to stay there. I mean, yeah, I loved him, but did I really need to stay with him at all times?” Lance shook his head. “It was a really hard question to answer.”

Lance looked over at Shiro, waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t Lance sat up straighter. “So uh. You’re probably wondering how the hell I actually left him then. It’s uh. Pretty boring. I was studying with Hunk and when I went to leave I just started crying. I knew Jonas would be waiting for me, wanting sex, maybe even angry I had been out so long and- well, I couldn’t leave. So Hunk made me stay. Actually feeling safe for the night made me realize hey, if I don’t feel safe around someone I love, why am I staying with him? So I... I stayed with Hunk. And you know how Hunk can make you feel like the best person ever. It was nice.”

Shiro nodded.

With a sigh, Lance rocked a little, looking down and gripping his ankles. “But you know that feeling of unfinished business? I mean, not only that, but Jonas had moved into my _room._ I couldn’t stay in Hunk’s room forever. So I needed to go back. I needed to see Jonas again. He managed to catch me one day after math and he was just... so nice. Worried about me. Asking me to come back.”

When he went quiet, he heard Shiro shift next to him. “What happened next?”

”I went back.”

  


* * *

  


”Jonas, really, you didn’t have to make dinner,” Lance laughed, sitting down at the folding table. “Wow. Did you sneak in some wine?”

”Nothing so fancy. It’s just grape juice.” Jonas smiled at him, setting a glass of purple grape juice in front of him. “I... let’s eat.”

Lance nodded, eagerly digging in. It tasted like an hastily heated up frozen meal, the type that came pretty much pre-cooked and just had to be put into a pan and heated up. But it was food and Jonas had tried. He wasn’t going to not eat because the brussel sprouts were a little soggy.

”What do you think?” Jonas looked nervous, toying with his fork.

”S’good!” Lance swallowed, and smiled at him. Man, why had he even left? He’d missed this. And the way Jonas looked at him, like he was everything... man. Yeah. This was great.

But...

Lance slowly put down his fork. He was here for a reason. “Hey. So, I’m really happy you’re always with me and all, but doesn’t your roommate miss you?”

Jonas stared at him. “What do you mean?”

”This wasn’t the room you were assigned. It’s my room. Shouldn’t-”

”Are you saying you don’t want me with you?”

Lance flinched at Jonas’s angry voice. “It’s not-”

”You haven’t been here either. You’ve left me while you’ve been with that... fat minger.”

”Hey!” Lance glared at him. “Don’t you talk about Hunk that way.”

”And what now? You’re going to stay with him? You’re going to leave me for that arsehole?”

Lance had to duck as Jonas’s plate came flying at him, crashing to the ground. He stood quickly, his heart pounding. “Jonas, I-” He dodged the glass, grape juice flying across the carpet as the glass hit the wall, shattering and falling back towards them. Back onto the table, onto Lance’s food.

Jonas stood.

  


* * *

  


He hadn’t even realized Shiro had said his name. Lance shook his head, inhaling. “It’s... hard for me to remember much of what happened after that. I think more stuff broke. I remember being pushed into the glass and thinking I had to protect my face so-” He put his arms in front of his face, blocking it before lowering them. “That’s where the scars came from. I don’t remember it, but from what people told me, he raped me. I just remember having to protect my face. I guess that’s what he was doing while I was doing that.” Lance pressed his lips together, arms shaking. “I know at some point he started choking me. Trying to kill me.”

He looked up at Shiro, seeing the sympathetic look on his face.

”I don’t remember Hunk,” he confessed. “I don’t know why Hunk came by my room, I don’t remember him pulling Jonas off me, and I don’t remember him taking me to the nurse. I don’t remember anything. Next thing I actually remember is waking up and someone telling me Jonas had been expelled would I like to press charges?” Lance turned his gaze to his hands, still clenching his ankles. “I didn’t. I just... wanted to sleep.”

”Lance...”

He closed his eyes.

”I kind of... told myself I wouldn’t put myself into that situation again. Only date soft, pretty girls. Girls that couldn’t overpower me. No guys.” Lance shook his head. “Hell, even tell people I didn’t like guys. I had to forget that I liked guys. I couldn’t be in that position again.”

”You stopped that after a while here,” Shiro noted. “What changed?”

Lance went quiet, thinking. “It’s kind of silly hiding something like that when you’re saving the universe,” he finally said. “I’m bisexual, so what. Not like I’d actually get to date anyone out here. So I just kind of... let that go.” He sighed.

”You’ll find someone,” Shiro told him, his voice kind.

The words made Lance bite back a laugh. Boy, if Shiro knew. “Yeah.”

Shiro sat there for a while longer, waiting. Not leaving. Lance waited for him to get up, to leave, but he didn’t. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Thank you,” Lance said. “For. Yeah. Listening to me. I guess I’ll go back to my room now.”

”Hey. You don’t need to.” Shiro held out a hand. “I mean... it’s okay if you want to stay for a little longer.”

It’s okay to stay.

Lance nodded, settling back on the couch. “But really. Thanks for listening to me.”

”I’ll always listen, Lance. All you have to do is talk.”

He closed his eyes, feeling tears well up yet again. “Thank you,” he whispered.

And kindly, Shiro didn’t say anything while Lance cried silently, curled up against the couch. He didn’t need to. He didn’t need to say anything, do anything. He just needed to be there. Just sit there.

Maybe he’d tell Shiro someday how he felt. But right now... he just took how Shiro was being supportive and cried.

After Jonas...

This was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lance.
> 
> Well, now we know what happened to him. And now he has a chance to heal too...
> 
> Thank you all so much! This side story for Lance was requested and well needed. Thank you so much for your continued support to this series!


End file.
